The Flip Side

Bismillah.

We grew up hearing, “all that glitters is not gold”. However, we didn’t pay much heed to it. We still think that all that glitters is gold. We persisted in being superficial. It’s just too deep to actually think the real story behind the scenes could be different. Who would put in that much effort?
And thus, the preference for superficiality took root in us and we started judging everything just based on appearance.

“A beautiful girl must be my daughter-in-law, who cares about the character”. 

“She always puts these romantic statuses on Facebook, she must be so happy and I’m oh-so-jealous”. 

“My friend from school has such a beautiful house and car, I wish I had a life exactly like his”. 

Yet, often the reality is very different from what we know. A poor person could be way more peaceful at heart than the one who is financially secure. Not only does this include not judging based on appearance but also not judging based on hearsay.

Friend A: “I saw him in the market with a girl in his car and I think she was his girlfriend”. 
Friend B: “Really? And I always thought he was a pious man. How fake!”

What just happened in this situation here? Person B believed person A in a trice without even thinking that his friend could be wrong. The girl in the car could very well be the guy’s sister, niece, aunt etc. We believe whatever anyone tells us and love to spread it around, as long as it highlights something negative. If only we had adopted the opposite course and conveyed what good we know of others, how much love would there be in this world today.

Mother-in-law: “My daughter-in-law does so and so…”
Neighbour: “Oh my! Does she really? Poor you”. 

Who knew what was the other side of the story? We make a judgement after listening to only one side of the story. You can never know the whole unless you know both sides. To be sure, even then you sometimes don’t know the exact reality.

Persist as we do in our unwise attitudes, Allah tells us through various stories, signs and miracles that don’t be quick to judge and don’t say things hastily.

Here’s an interesting story.

Sahih Bukhari, 3436:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “None spoke in cradle but three: …….. (The third was the hero of the following story) A lady from Bani Israel was nursing her child at her breast when a handsome rider passed by her. She said, ‘O Allah ! Make my child like him.’ On that the child left her breast, and facing the rider said, ‘O Allah! Do not make me like him.’ The child then started to suck her breast again. (Abu Huraira further said, “As if I were now looking at the Prophet (ﷺ) sucking his finger (in way of demonstration.”) After a while the people passed by, with a lady slave and she (i.e. the child’s mother) said, ‘O Allah! Do not make my child like this (slave girl)!, On that the child left her breast and said, ‘O Allah! Make me like her.’ When she asked why, the child replied, ‘The rider is one of the tyrants while this slave girl is falsely accused of theft and illegal sexual intercourse.”

This doesn’t mean that no matter what one does, you start wondering what would be the real story behind this. No! Rather don’t be hasty in wishing things that might not be as they seem and avoid being judgemental. Deal with people on the apparent but don’t judge based on their appearance and hearsay.

Make your own life and the life of others easy! :)

P.S. To read about the other child who spoke in his cradle, click here.

The Man Who Lost Everything

Bismillah.

There once lived a man who was very handsome. He had a loving wife and many wonderful children. He was blessed with a blooming business and so wealth in his household was plenty. They all lived a healthy and happy life together. Alas! The merry times did not last. One day calamity struck his household. His business was destroyed and all his family died except his wife. He contracted a terrible disease and his health started deteriorating. The people of his town considered his disease contagious and a bad omen so they turned him out of the village. He started living in the outskirts where he could neither work nor move. Day by day, his health and money reduced. His wife had to go and serve people to earn an honest bite. But the people did not like his wife to be near them either in case she was infected. In this sorrowful situation, eighteen years passed. And people started to talk. They said the way all his blessings were taken away shows that he did some wrong in his life that is not being forgiven. He is reaping the fruit of his actions.

This story is not very strange or out of place. Happy people’s lives are often turned upside down. And usually it is thought that it is the result of their own wrongdoings. But are we too quick to judge? Yes, we are! The above story is the story of Prophet Ayyub AS (Job). He was a prophet and so the best of people. Prophets don’t commit sins like normal people. His sufferings were a test in reality. And tests happen to, well, test a person. Prophets happen to pass those tests with flying colours because they are awesome. Prophet Ayyub AS never complained or become hopeless or stopped trusting Allah. He always remembered Allah and prayed to Him.

Similarly, we don’t know why a person has been put into difficulties. How do you know if it was a result of his actions or he is being elevated in his rank by this test in his life? You don’t really know. So give them a break. Make dua for the people who suffer, empathize and help them. Help them not only physically but also emotionally and spiritually. And if a person is actually not very good, then who knows how good your kind and sincere words can prove to be to an already broken heart? Stop interfering into the lives of others just to spread gossip and discuss their sufferings. We are no one to judge, seriously.

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) who said:
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Part of the perfection of one’s Islam is his leaving that which does not concern him.” A hasan (good) hadeeth which was related by at-Tirmidhi and others in this fashion.

Here’s the end of the story:
Imagine how hurt you would be if you were ill and then people talked bad about you. Prophet Ayyub AS made dua to Allah about his suffering. Allah accepted his dua and cured him. His wealth and family was returned to him with a great increase. His health was restored. He once again became the handsome man he once was.

Sahih Bukhari, 3391:
 
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “While Job was naked, taking a bath, a swarm of gold locusts fell on him and he started collecting them in his garment. His Lord called him, ‘O Job! Have I not made you rich enough to need what you see? He said, ‘Yes, O Lord! But I cannot dispense with your Blessing.”‘

It is said that he had two fields, one of wheat and one of barley. The wheat field was rained with gold and the barley field was rained with silver. Think of that!

This shows the attitude of a true believer. He is not greedy or materialistic. Yet he uses Allah’s blessings and enjoys them to the full. He thanks Allah for them and remembers Him always. His blessings do not make him heedless of the One who bestowed him with these pleasures. What a balanced life we can lead if we follow this simple principle. :)

From the Story of Asma binte ‘Umais…

Salam,
Bismillah.

The whole story was amazing; I’m not sharing all of it. However I recommend you read it. :)

There are a lot of points that we get from her story. I’m posting some of them for a reminder. Read on!

There was a discussion between her and another companion. When we’re doing something good, sometimes we feel that what the other people are doing is lowly. But we’ve no idea how Allah thinks of it. We think that person does not have a degree & he does not have a certificate. If a companion of ours gets a bit slow in his work, we feel he’s not really doing any good work. Or if he stops doing the work we’re doing, we’ll go he’s not doing the real thing. We judge without thinking maybe Allah is taking some other work from him. The real point is to stay contented in whatever situation Allah has put us in and find some productive work for ourselves in that particular situation. With the form or shape of work being different, reward is not lessened. If you’re doing something for self-projection then it’s wasted anyway, no matter how good it is.

If you’re not motivated enough to do Allah’s work then you have nothing! Why do you have to look at others for motivation? Isn’t Allah enough for your motivation? If you’re thrown on an island, wouldn’t Allah be enough for your motivation there?

HasbunAllaha wa na’imal wakeel

If there is no one else, you still have Allah! Doesn’t He show you the way? Doesn’t He provide for you? Don’t we have to return to Him?

This is the difference between us and Companions of the Prophet s.a.w. They did a little but purely for Allah and Allah put barakah in it. Whatever they were assigned, they did it properly only for Allah.

A son was born to her and she continued on her journey to pilgrimage. What do the women do usually? Go on a rest 40 days before and 40 days after the birth of the child. They start praying salah sitting down. But she was strong! Mothers of the ummat-e-Muslimah!

She solved a problem between kids easily. Mothers today get worried about their kids at once. Bring calmness in yourself for their good upbringing. Accept your kids happily as an assignment from Allah. Women, who cry, can’t do anything really. If they’ll cry in front of their husbands, they’ll look elsewhere for someone smiling and laughing. Don’t act abnormally in front of your husband and kids. And when you have to cry, cry in front of your Lord. He will not leave you alone. The people we run after are not the contentment we’re looking for. Try it! Leave people and trust Allah, people will support you too. It is He who puts love and respect for you in people’s hearts. If He loves you, everyone will love you. Calling yourself pitiful is not the solution to the problem. Be brave! Bring that wisdom, strength and confidence in yourself. If a mother is worried, the whole house becomes anxious. Tell yourself, nothing is the problem with me. We’re self-centered; stop the ‘me’ every time. This is worshipping your own-self, Allah does not like it. Trust Him and He’ll help you from ways you can’t imagine.

And when you’re self-centered you fail to recognize the qualities of others.

Don’t do comparison amongst your kids. Remember the individual quality of each of your child. And then expect only that which he is capable of. Mothers want that every child should have all the qualities. This is wrong, saying this child has this quality and the other doesn’t.

The people who ask a lot of questions about how to do things, and don’t feel satisfied; they should check their intentions if they really are asking so that they can act on it. If yes, then Allah will give a chance inshaAllah. If you’re not given a chance then you’ll be rewarded in return for it in the hereafter. Maybe there is more khair in your dua not getting accepted.

Wassalam,
Hajrah. :)

Half Of Earth’s Beauty In One!

Salam,
Bismillah.

Since about a week I was contemplating what to write on my blog. (It’s not as if good things weren’t happening or anything but they just weren’t providing the impulse to write).

So yesterday we did Surah Yusuf in tarawih prayer. As I listened to its recitation it made my heart want to overflow. It brings to my memory the days in which whenever I used to get even a little bit low I started listening to Surah Yusuf and felt better instantly, like a pain-killer injection.

Why? Why Surah Yusuf?

Well to begin with, the Lord of the worlds labels the story of Yusuf A.S ‘Ahsan Al Qasas’, the best of stories!
Felt the impact of these two phrases? Lord of the worlds & best of stories? Yes? I know, it is just that strong. :)

There are lots of reasons of this being the best of stories, one striking one being that it’s 100% true.
But if we go into details we wont be able to talk about anything else.

So lets just discuss a few main pointers about how it provides solace.
(Gosh! How will I ever be able to narrow it down? :O)

Alright!
First thing. What did Yusuf A.S do during all his problems?
– Sabr.
Something that we need every single minute of our life.
Sabr = patience + steadfastness.
Allah SWT tells us countless times in the Quran to do sabr, for success in both worlds. We believe that. But we’re humans and we learn best by examples, by stories. How do we teach kids the way of life? Through stories. So this story seems like my story, your story and we all relate to it, get clues and it helps us get on with sabr, thus get on with life.

Second thing. He was very very beautiful (we all have soft corner for that, right?) so that could be one reason too. Hehe! Just kidding. :D (Though he A.S WAS very beautiful).

Third thing. We think it’s impossible to be ‘good’ at all times, in all situations. Hello?! Yusuf A.S was no angel, he was a human being just like us. (Okay he was a Prophet, son of a Prophet, grandson of a Prophet, great-grandson of a Prophet but he was a human after all). Allah SWT tells us his story, why? So that we at least try to be some good. At least try to follow him. And trust me even a little following would be sufficient for us. :p

Fourth thing. He is called by his fellow in prison as ‘Ayyuhassideeq’, O man of truth! Despite all that he went through (he was separated from his beloved father, home –> thrown into a deep well –> taken into an unknown state –> sold as a slave –> tried to be forced into sin –> by his master’s wife –> accused when he was innocent –> finally was imprisoned) what did he not leave? Truth! He didn’t stop being truthful no matter what!
Now imagine yourself in just one of the above mentioned situations. Or any difficult situation that you went through, what do we tend to let go off first of all? Truth. In order to save our neck we resort to lies easily. What about him A.S?

Fifth thing. He was at the peak of his youth and was tried to be lured into evil by his master’s wife. What did he do? He asked for Allah’s refuge and resisted. Didn’t ‘give in’. I used the word ‘give in’ because that’s what we do. We say it’s the environment, it’s not our fault, everyone does it, don’t we have a right to enjoy life? (He chose prison for himself, remember?). Dude! Get a grip and stop trying to give lame excuses when all along you know deep inside your heart that it’s wrong.

Sixth thing. The dua that Yusuf A.S makes at the end, I just love it. ‘ Creator of the heavens and earth, You are my protector in this world and in the Hereafter. Cause me to die a Muslim and join me with the righteous.”‘ (Verse 101). Isn’t it simply beautiful? He calls Allah by a name that shows only love and then the next sentence shows the unwavering reliance and trust in Him. And then he asks two things which are indeed what are needed for the best of both worlds.

Last but not the least. Allah SWT says in the last verse of Surah Yusuf: ‘There was certainly in their stories a lesson for those of understanding.’
So that’s what we’re supposed to get from this story. Lessons. There are lots and lots of lessons in it. If you want to learn those lessons for your life, study/read/listen to Surah Yusuf yourself. :)

(If this post gets any longer you wont read it at all. So enough said).

Wassalam,
Hajrah. :)