You and your husband are at a government office, getting some paperwork done. You came here at 8 in the morning and now it’s 7 at night. You both are very tired and have been going from office to office to get the papers signed. Finally your work is done and you leave the office, get in your car and are on your way home. You reach the end of the lane and you realize that you don’t have your documents with you. You have probably forgotten them in one of the offices in that building. You tell your husband and ask him to go back so you can find them. What does your husband say to you?
“Oh sure sweetheart, you must have forgotten them because you’re so tired, let’s go back and I’ll help you find them, don’t you worry about it”? I see most of you have “Haha! Nice joke! This is not Bollywood!” written over your face.
Or does he go, “Can’t you remember to keep your things with you, woman? We have to go all the way back just because of you. I have a good mind to leave your documents there. There’s no peace in my life, I’m so tired”? Now you go, “okay, this one is a bit more realistic”.
Let me tell you of a husband who when went through worse, still opted for the first response. Surprisingly, he was a real husband, not a Bollywood one. Isn’t this amazing? Read the following true story and find out for yourself:
Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 7, Number 330:
Narrated ‘Aisha (the wife of the Prophet ﷺ):
We set out with Allah’s Apostle ﷺ on one of his journeys till we reached Al-Baida’ or Dhatul-Jaish, a necklace of mine was broken (and lost). Allah’s Apostle ﷺ stayed there to search for it, and so did the people along with him. There was no water at that place, so the people went to Abu- Bakr As-Siddiq and said, “Don’t you see what ‘Aisha has done? She has made Allah’s Apostle ﷺ and the people stay where there is no water and they have no water with them.” Abu Bakr came while Allah’s Apostle ﷺ was sleeping with his head on my thigh, He said, to me: “You have detained Allah’s Apostle ﷺ and the people where there is no water and they have no water with them.
So he admonished me and said what Allah wished him to say and hit me on my flank with his hand. Nothing prevented me from moving (because of pain) but the position of Allah’s Apostle ﷺ on my thigh. Allah’s Apostle ﷺ got up when dawn broke and there was no water. So Allah revealed the Divine verses of Tayammum. So they all performed Tayammum. Usaid bin Hudair said, “O the family of Abu Bakr! This is not the first blessing of yours.”
This is the funniest part of the hadith and so natural as well. Guess where was the necklace found from in the end?
Then the camel on which I was riding was caused to move from its place and the necklace was found beneath it.
The Prophet ﷺ was not coming back from his office. He was coming back from a battle, he was the General. Think of the responsibility on his shoulders. He was the leader. He had to take care of his tired soldiers as well. He was not in a car on a road in the city. He was in the middle of the desert. There was no water there at all. His wife had not lost important documents, only a necklace. And yet, he stopped the whole battalion for her. He didn’t shout at her, he wasn’t that scary that she had to think 10 times if she should ask him to stop or not. This is how beautiful the conduct of my Prophet ﷺ was with his wives.
And yet, people talk about Islam oppressing women? And share images of women in veils, chained by the feet and being dragged by frowning bearded men? Do you think this is the real Islam? This is what the Prophet ﷺ taught? They think his marriage with Ayesha was forceful and tyrannical? Shame on those people! Let them only be like him in conduct for a day to their women. They’ll never be able to do that. Women today are humiliated, shouted at, abused, used and what not. Where is the respect that he gave to his wives? That he taught? You think his having 9 wives is shameful? Are you good with your one?
Today, we’ve distorted the institution of marriage so much that the young generation wants to have the ‘real fun’ first and then get married sometime later in life as they consider marriage to be a lifelong jail. If we just follow him ﷺ the right way, we can make our family life so beautiful. We can bring back that peace and strength in family life. There is no real happiness in the affairs and haram relationships. It’s only a matter of knowing the reality of Islam and acting upon it.