There was a very moving reminder given by brother Hamza Andreas Tzortzis at SIST on January 8, 2012. I would like to share it with you.
This is the summary of what he talked about (these may not be the exact words but I’m still going to use the first form so that it can be related to easily, they are almost the exact words though):
My dad used to say ‘I love you’ to me every single day. (His dad is a non-Muslim). Wallahi I can guarantee you that some of you have never heard the word love from your parents. We’re Muslims, this is our agenda… Rahmah! Ibn-al-Qayyim said where you see Islam you should see mercy. And I guarantee you some of you in this room don’t even have loving relationships with your own parents. This is not the relationship of the sunnah, of parenting. Children have to obey their parents. It’s a must. It’s an ‘ibadah. But don’t forget the emphasis Islam puts on rahmah in relationships. What does Allah say about Nabi s.a.w? If you didn’t show love to them they would run away from you. Think about this. Think about did I say I love him?
‘I love you.’ Such a beautiful words. Its sunnah. What did the Prophet s.a.w say? If you love someone tell them. Do we not love our children? Of course we do. So why don’t we say it? If we don’t have rahmah in our house then according to developmental psychology you have nothing no matter what else you give your children. We don’t show love, we don’t show rahmah. Why? Remember it’s all about parenting. And you’re future parents or you’re young parents or old parents so don’t underestimate the rahmah. Nabi s.a.w did an analogy of Allah’s love though there’s no analogy of Allah’s attributes but just to explain things. He said that love of Allah is greater than the love of a mother for her child. SubhanAllah! Do you know any love greater than the love of a mother? Of course not! This shows that Allah’s love is greater than any type of love. But it also shows the other side because it shows that a mother’s love is so important. Our teenagers need love more than the children. Seriously! Ali r.a said for the first seven years let them play. From 7-14 teach them, give them adab. And after 14 be their friend. How many of you can say that your parents are your friends? Best friends? A beautiful proof is the attitude of Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.
If you give them education and money you think it’s enough? Sorry, it’s not. They need your love. Because only that is what will make Islam penetrate your child’s heart. We’ve seen the results of education and money in Pakistan, if we don’t give them love there’s nothing. So love them, parents! A courageous man is soft of heart. We know the hadith when Nabi s.a.w was kissing his children, one Arab came and said I never kiss my children, he said the one who is not merciful to others, Allah will not be merciful to him.
How could I teach my non-Muslim dad about Islam when he has rahmah much more than Muslims? What would I say? ‘Sorry dad they don’t follow Islam although it’s a great religion that they have?’
Let’s make a resolution here and now that we will be more generous with the words ‘I love you’ and use them for our children every day, inshaAllah. Hug them, let them know. Just taking care of their needs is not enough!
P.S. Express your love for your friends and family and acquaintances as well. Make it flow. Let’s drop our superficial, egotistical attitudes and love each other, make it a tradition in our ummah! <3
(This is not for non-mehrams, of course). :p
Enjoy the video: