“No one loves me”. “Nobody really cares”. One of the most common claims of teenagers nowadays. Many end up committing suicide just because of that. Born to single parents or belonging to a broken home or having both parents slaving at a 9-5 job, kids often feel ignored or deprived of love. These same kids then grow up to be delinquents or somehow psychologically disturbed adults. Developed countries spend billions of dollars on crime control.
Many people who have anger, frustration or other behavioural issues are now known to be suffering from some kind of complex. If you look at it, these complexes too are born out of insecurities that stem from lovelessness, lack of proper attention etc. These insecurities end up turning the defensive mode on, hence giving rise to the culture of individualism, which brings forth the “I don’t care” and “this is my life” attitude.
Love can do wonders to people. Life coaches and healing practitioners know that and so many books are out there in the market that teach you how to earn love of parents, spouses, colleagues etc. Some of these books actually have good practical advice.
However, at the end of the day, we live with humans who will hurt us and ignore us and lack somewhere in the love they have for us. It does get tiring running after this person and that after a while. That is the time when people give up, start cheating on their partners or break out in jealousy. What then is the solution?
What we need to understand is that a building constructed on weak foundations will eventually fall. If the foundation of your building is strong then advice from different experts and their experiences will help, otherwise it will not. Don’t sweat, the way out is so simple that you will be surprised!
Here you go: Please one, not all. Rest will be taken care of.
The question is which one?
We find the answer of this in Sahih Bukhari, 3209:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “If Allah loves a person, He calls Gabriel saying, ‘Allah loves so and-so; O Gabriel! Love him.’ Gabriel would love him and make an announcement amongst the inhabitants of the Heaven. ‘Allah loves so-and-so, therefore you should love him also,’ and so all the inhabitants of the Heaven would love him, and then he is granted the pleasure of the people on the earth.”
If you strive to please your Creator, eventually people of this earth will come to accept and love you. And hey, what more could you want? Imagine your parents, spouse, kids, neighbours, colleagues loving you!
So now you don’t need to lose your focus by thinking, ‘should I side with my boss or the colleague who helped me last week?’ ‘Should I make my mother-in-law love me or should I exert my efforts towards my sister-in-law?’ Instead, you can focus on pleasing the only One in peace Who will never fail you, never be unjust and never get angry without a reason. <3
Now that we have a goal, here are some tips and tricks on how to please Allah:
Belief and good deeds – Allah says in Maryam 96: “Indeed, those who have believed and done righteous deeds – the Most Merciful will appoint for them affection.”
Voluntary good deeds (nafal) – “…..And the most beloved thing with which My slave comes nearer to Me, is what I have enjoined upon him; and My slave keeps on coming closer to Me through performing Nawafil (voluntary prayers or doing extra deeds besides what is obligatory) until I love him,…..” [Al-Bukhari]
You can find many more ways to earn His love in the Book of Allah and the narrations of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. May Allah give us the tawfeeq to earn His love inshaAllah. :)